i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange Orange. Aren't You Glad I Didn't Say Cliterus?

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Why do black people eat watermelon? It is a good source of vitamin C.

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Q: What happened to the teenage girl and the serial rapist at Denny's around midnight? A: They both ordered the french toast Grand Slam breakfast (at Denny's, its breakfast any time!!).

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What's brown and sticky? a stick.

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What's worse than one bee sting? 2 bee stings

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How many jews can get in a Volvo? 5.

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what was the dinosaur after it got out of the pool? wet

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Chikin nuggets

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How do you have sex with the blue waffle? stick your penis inside

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John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

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How do you fit 100 ethiopians in a phone box? With great difficulty.

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A blonde walks into a library. "PLEASE CAN I HAVE A CHEESEBURGER?!" he shouts at the top of his lungs. "Sir, this is a library," the librarian says. "Oh, sorry," he whispers and goes to McDonald's Two years of the routine and he dies of of heart failure and has diabetes.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Poke her face (pokerface)

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This guys walks in a forest and meets a bear. So he says : - Yo yo, whattup, bear ? And the bear says "ROAR!" Because he's a bear.

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Ever since I've been using chloroform as cologne I've been getting laid a lot.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape the overwhelming feeling of self doubt created by an abusive drug addicted father which has left him seeking life threatening situations that should never befall a simple chicken.

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What do the Holocaust and baseball have in common? They are sports, except the Holocaust.

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Yo mama so stupid she liked this joke

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The night is always darkest just before the dawn. Just kidding I'm Helen Keller, everything's always dark.

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Why was the globe sad? Because it was cut in half.

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Knock Knock Who's There? I am. I am who? I think someone has contracted amnesia.

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If you're American when you go into the bathroom, and American when you come out, what are you inside? American! What are you, a communist?

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What can be any colour and is made of leather? Cars. I lied about the leather part.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops