How do you get a one-armed Polak out of a tree? Get a ladder and carry him down.

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Cancer victim: What kind of doctor are you? Person 2: I'm not a doctor. In fact, I'm a suicide bomber and am planning to initiate the detonation sequence right now. Cancer victim: Well, it doesn't really matter. No matter who shows up, I'll still die anyways. This way, I'll be able to pay a visit to the transcendent city high in the heavens sooner. Person 2: I bet that many would mourn your death at your remembrance ceremony. Cancer victim: That doesn't bother me. My friends and family are close to my heart, but that doesn't warrant eternal proximity with one another in itself. Person 2: Let's go to a better place. Let us finally break free of our mortal chains that have unceasingly been hindering our progress since the first war took place. Cancer victim: Wait, I've changed my mind! Person 2: Too late. I wish I had a time machine... not.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 1. Discovering your "girlfriend" is a man 2. The Holocaust 3. Being Raped 4. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid 5. Being Raped by a Giant Scorpion-Panda Hybrid who doesn't wear protection.

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What would George Washington do if he was alive today? Scream and scrach at the top of his coffin.

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Q. How many pancakes can fit in a dog house? A. 0. Penguins don't like icecream.

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why does king kong so fat? because he eats to much

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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What is the difference between muffins and cornbread? I don't enjoy sticking cornbread in my anus.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, why am i even talking to you?

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What do you get when you cross a pelican with a mountain goat? It's hard to say.

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A barrel of monkeys is only a barrel of laughs if they're alive and telling jokes.

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What made parashoot paint's so uncool? MC Hammer.

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Roses are red Violets are purple I just got raped by a clown

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yo mama so fat that she should be concerned because diabetes is a serious issue

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why did the banana go to the doctor? answer: he wasnt peeling well lollolololloololololololololololololooolololololololol i just fell of my dinosaur

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To the person who wrote the dislike joke: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAH GOOD FAIL!

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Roses are red violets are blue ... Aww I just don't give a damn and nether do you.

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Why did the blond fall of the ladder? She had no arms.

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A priest and a bunch of boys are in a room. They are having choir practice.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? John. Oh, hey! Come in.

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whats black. an african american person

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Why was the black man unemployed? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his opportunities from a young age.

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why did the chicken cross the road ??? why would you care??

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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