Why did the black man steal purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon? Because it was the birthday of his 8 year old daughter with autism and she loves purple kool-aid, chicken and watermelon and he was very poor and wanted to make his little girl happy for once.

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A blonde walks into a salon and says "I would like to get my golden locks trimmed." The haircutter replies "surely, just sit yourself down in that chair over there and I'll be with you momentarily." The blonde walks to the chair and sits down. When the haircutter comes over he asks her, "would you please remove your headset, I can't cut your hair while they're on." She laughs at her forgetfulness and removes them obligingly.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She was hungry.

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who did the strait guy marry? a woman

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i said wut wut in the butt!

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs swimming? Drowning.

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When life throws you lemons, duck because they freakin' hurt.

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Q: What happens when your name is Gretchen Weiner? A: You can never make "fetch" happen.

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Whats the difference between and anti joke and a joke? There two different things.

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What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Two gay guys walked in to a bar. It's unfair of me to make the assumption that they're gay, they just be really good friends whom aren't opposed to touching each other.

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a man cries out to god.... and god does't reply.

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So a baby seal walks into a club.

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Your momma's so ugly that she was worried that she would never marry anyone.

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Which came first the egg or the chicken? The chicken because eggs can't cross the road

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What happened to the boy who fell off the swing? He got hurt.

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i love u. so rate me good or i will talk to my lawyer. nothing personal, i just have no arms, legs, or nose and got broken up with by a girlfriend yesterday (and no, she was not fake) Her name was maria. On the bright side, my grandma woke up this morning!

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That moment when you and your friends throw snowballs at cars in the dark on the highway and the cops spotlight your area while you hide in a shed...

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if I had sex with your mother?

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One

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Your mom is so...wonderful.

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What did the school bully get for his birthday? Beaten by his alcoholic father. Children are a product of their environment and his father's abusive nature towards his son forced the young boy to act out in class giving him the reputation of a bully.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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