Why didn't the boy drop his ice cream He was hit by a bus and he wasn't eating ice cream

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world peace

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Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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Women's Rights.

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what did the kid with no head get for his birthday? A coffin.

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first one why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure

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Knock Knock. Who's There. Teenage Pregnancy

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How do you kill a blonde? Throw a fridge at her

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why did the chicken cross the road? because there were no cars coming and it seemed like a safe time to cross

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they're ugly and they smell.

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What did batman say to robin before getting into the batmobile? Get in the batmobile robin.

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What did the blond do on October 12th? Get hit by a bus

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A: Whats black and hangs from my tree in my backyard? B: What? A: Blackberries B: Blackberries grow on bushes

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Two tomatoes are crossing the road. Suddenly one of them gets hit by a car. He goes "AGH!"

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What do a turtle and an eagle have in common? They can both fly. Except for the turtle.

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Q: What's worse than spilling milk all over the floor? A: Cleaning up the milk you spilled all over the floor.

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a mexican, a asian and a black guy are in a car whos driving? your mom

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What did the man say when he lost his phone? Answer: I lost my phone!!

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What do family members and a loaf of bread have in common? If you smash them with a hammer they die.

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You know what happens when you assume? You make a judgment based on incomplete information.

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What did the rock say to the other rock? Nothing they're rocks? What did the tree say to the other tree? Nothing they're both trees? What did the pillow say to the other pillow? Nothing they're both pillows? What did the cat say to the other cat? Meow.

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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One below was by me: Walter H

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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