Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer caught it.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism.

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What did the lawyer name his daughter? Nothing. The lawyer is sterile and can never have children.

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know either.

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Why did the horse go to the doctor? It had a heart disease.

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Yo mama is so fat, she eats three times the normal amount of calories one should eat in a single day. This resulted in her early demise, to which you mourned for numerous months before accepting the fact that she was gone.

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R: Caught my wife cheating the other night. P: You bitter? R: Yes. I am.

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What do you call a mother who is also your aunt and a father who is also your uncle? Incest

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Nickelback

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What is the answer to life, universe and everything? Nothing.

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what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

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— Knock knock. — Who's there? — Funny. — Funny who? — A funny joke.

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Roses are roses Violets are violets Sugar is sugar And you're a person

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knock knock? come in

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Q.How do you scare an emo?? A.Run after them with plasters

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Why did the boy with cancer cross the road? He was hoping to get hit by a truck.

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How do you confuse a chicken? Paint yourself black and throw seeds at it.

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his crotch... The bartender calls the police as the man is arrested as piracy an act of robbery or criminal violence.

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Whats the difference between a Ferrari and a bag of dead babies. I don't have a Ferrari in garage.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pansies are purple, Nothing rhymes with purple.

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A man walks into a bar, but it was a gay bar, and the man was a homosexual so he stayed and had fun then later that night he went home to his girlfriend

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How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops