Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she is deceased, therefore rendering her incapable of movement, which is required to drive a vehicle.

There is big difference between helping your Uncle Jack off a horse And helping your uncle jack off a horse

Why did John McCain lose the election? He did not get as many votes as Barack Obama.

whats black and white and red all over? ...a nun in a blender

why did the little boy die? He had AIDS

why did the chicken cross the street i dont know thats why im asking you

why did the baby cross the road i tied it to the back of a car

Two peanuts walk down the street. One was a salted.

What did the homeless man say to the rich man? Can i have some food?

so there is a 13 year old boy who got left home while the rest of his family was driving to colorado, so the police comes to his door, and says son your whole family has just died in a plane accident. And the boy says, but my family was driving. . . the policeman then says, i'm aware, the plane actually hit their car and only killed your family.

Q: What's bad about 4 asians getting shot? A: There could've been five

A man gets home from work with red on his collar. His wife asks what it is. The man replies "I had sex with a young woman, your to old and you disqust me"

An English ship lands in the New World and offers to trade with the natives. The ship actually carried foreign diseases that the natives had no immunity to, and they all died.

Roses are red, violets are blue, This is false, Violets are purple.

Knock, knock. Who is there? Child services, here to take your children. The following day, there is another knock at the door. Who is there? The police. The woman runs into the kitchen and kills herself.

Roses are red Oranges are orange Nothing rhymes with orange Forever alone

So I was standing in line at the grocery store and this little old lady let me cut in front of her. It was neat.

how do you make a plumber cry Kill his family

There were two smokestacks, a little one and a big one. One day, the little one said to the big one, "I'm tired of being the lesser of two smokestacks!"

FREE SEX! Now that I have your attention.............

A poor boy receives his first wrapped present in his entire life. Why did he hate it so much? Because it was a copy of "Mien Kampf" Is he Jewish? No, he actually does know what "Mien Kampf" is because he is poor and cannot read.

Q: What do the French call a quarter pounder with cheese? A: Le Royale with cheese

WE BE-ETH YON KNIGHTS OF THE ROUND TABLE

Wanna know what a hate about instructions? I always get my dick stuck in a ceiling fan.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...