If life throws you cars, you are probably on LSD.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead..

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Two men walk into a bar. The third one ducks, as he saw the first two men previously walking into it, and it looks like it rather hurt.

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Why did the plane crash? Because there was no pilot

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What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

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What happens when a jew with a boner runs into a wall? He hurts his face.

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Why did the cow cross the road? Cause it wanted to. Why di the chicken cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the cow's face.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah

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What's black and gets in trouble a lot? A dog with black fur that has not been well trained.

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if life throws you lemons you must be dyslexic

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Why did the chicken cross the road... so people could keep asking that question for 4000 years

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What did the man do after he got in his car with out his keys? He started it up and drove Away

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A Jew walks into an expensive Hotel and orders 500 dollars worth of wine.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why the f*** do so many people ask this question?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well I'll tell you. He was happily gliding down the sidewalk when he realized that his destination was across the road. He then proceeds to take In his surroundings . He finds that there is no indication telling him to stop so he then cautiously walks across the road watching for any dangerous movement. He safely makes it across and proceeds to his destination which is the slaughtering house. He is a retarded chicken

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Do you know what the meaning of life is? Of course you don't.

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Why did the little boy commit suicide? Because his dad molested him.

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the mountains? A: Bear food.

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what happens when 15 babies cross the street? well, some may be hit by cars. others will have to face the harsh life of reality.

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Your mama's so hairy, the only language she knows is wookie.

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Is it true that curiousity killed the cat? No, I hit it multiple times with a baseball bat

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Why did the black man quit his job as a rapper? Because he was an admirable father and husband and was willing to sacrifice his passion to provide for those he loved.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops