Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? No, but considering there has not been a single man to walk on the moon since 1972, it'd be difficult to generate any kind of revenue on this natural satellite.

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Why did the boy fall down the stairs? Because he tripped.

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What hurts more than a papercut? A chainsaw between your legs.

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I like my coffee how I like my women. Without a penis. - Blake Woodman

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A have a black guy in my family tree. He married my cousin a few years back

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How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

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What do you call a man with an Eye patch and no arms? Names.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

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A man walks into a bar, he then gets a giant bump on his head as he passes out and is rushed to the hospital.

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Buzi vagy!

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Is your refrigerator running? yeah oh...just wondering.

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- I got kicked out of the library today. - why? - because I put the women's rights book in the fiction section

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Why was the girl blind, and deaf? it was hellen keller

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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What did George Washington say before he crossed the Delaware? "Get in the boat."

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Why was Rodney afraid of Chung Lee? Because Chung Lee is an intimidating person, capable of literally ripping your face off.

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Why are apples cheaper than lemons? Because you have to pay less money then lemons to buy them

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What's worse than stabbing your eye with a fork? Stabbing both your eyes with a fork.

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I know where you live. No seriously im looking at you through your window. 80% of you just checked. 90% of you didnt realize i just ended that statement with a question mark. 100% of you just checked gotcha

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Almost everything. Infant mortality rates are incrediby high in many third world countries, and it is certainly no laughing matter.

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Santa Clause, a smart blonde, and the Queen of England all jump out of a plane, which hits the ground first? Galileo's theory tells us that all objects fall at the same speed regardless of weight, so they all hit simultaneously.

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An American, a French man, and Jew were all in an airplane about to skydive. Their skydiving instructor comes out and says, "I'm sorry, there seems to've been a mistake and we only have two parachutes." The company refunds them, and they, while reasonably disappointed, agree to reschedule the lesson.

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Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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