How do you make an orphan's hands bleed? Tell them to clap until there parents come home.

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Why did the boy fall asleep in class? He was tired.

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Q: What's soft, fuzzy, and lives in the woods? A: Yeti

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woman's rights

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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What's the difference between a red door and a blue door? Fat black people.

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What's yellow and talks? A talking giraffe.

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I like my women like I like my coffee.......... I don't like coffee

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Why did Sheryl Go to the Bathroom? Cause she had Direha...........

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Why didn't the family finish their picnic? Because a dog was sick all over the food.

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Why did the helicopter crash? Because the driver was fat.

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Whats worse than being a jew? Having all of your friends viciously murdered at a party that you weren't invited to.

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Little Stephanie was up all night on Christmas eve excited for her new bike that Santa was going to bring her. After tossing and turning for what seemed like decades, the sunset finally arose and Stephanie ran down the steps to unwrap her new bike with the family. Immediately after she went down the staircase, she found her parents marinated in their own blood, with knife wounds all around their body.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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Abbie has head so far up her arse, it just LOOKS like it's coming out her neck.

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Charles Manson is innocent.

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whats the difference between an orange and a bicycle? One has handlebars..the other one doesnt.

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GOODJESUSLORDALMIGHTY dis boy myyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy i can't even................ fhrejhklgfjgtedlfcgrbh http://www.google.com/imgres?q=harry+styles+stupid&start=231&hl=en&safe=active&sa=X&biw=1022&bih=539&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnso&tbnid=6-GniQ6ct-j0HM:&imgrefurl=http://katiespilling.blogspot.com/&docid=6oY2cEt2vFEq0M&imgurl=http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-7nKXEePj87o/T5dBnSfhaBI/AAAAAAAAAHw/RNSE68GzbjU/s1600/Harry%252BStyles%252Bboy%252Bband%252BOne%252BDirection%252Barrives%252B1Tg3l2FYklYl.jpg&w=396&h=594&ei=2Y7HT6jnL4e69QSK2oW5Dw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=244&vpy=12&dur=543&hovh=160&hovw=106&tx=72&ty=122&sig=110416686013590693091&page=18&tbnh=160&tbnw=106&ndsp=13&ved=1t:429,r:1,s:231,i:105

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What's worser than dieing? Living-being tortured while at it too

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knowone loved me why???????????????????????? because they were so damm ugly

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Iif your reading this ur gay

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What do Wal-Mart and Michael Jackson have in common? They both have made a lot of money and are also well known around the world.

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Why did the little hamster die? Because it had a careless owner who never paid any attention to it. therefor it passed away.

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Johns mother asked him were he had been. John simply replied the shop.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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