Roses are red, Violets are blue. Most poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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An egg and a sausage walk into a bar, and the barman says "sorry, we don't serve breakfast".

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What did the sniper say when a newsreporter asked what he felt when he shot a terrorist? The sniper replied: Recoil.

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whats worse then a truck full of babies? if it went off a cliff into a canyon full of knives.

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What did the Mexican shoe salesman say to the man? Excuse me, do you whih way to main street?

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What do you call a lion eating a gazelle? the food chain.

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A muslim guy walks into a bar and orders a water as he isnt allowed to drink alcohol

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A man was found dead, in an ice cream van, the other day. He was covered from head to toe in hundreds and thousands, with two flakes sticking out of his ears. The police say it was a tragedy and will be informing his next of kin in the next few days.

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Y R U A B? I don't know why I am a bee.

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How do you make your children nice? You dont have any.

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A blond walks into an electronics store. Then she promptly walks out, as she got the wrong store.

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How many retarded mexicans can you fit in a smart car? Two.

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What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, she didn't make it that far.

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Just think...there are 7 billion people in the world...so that's 14 billion orgasms!

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ALCATRAZ IS REOPENED!

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What's worst than missing a doctors appointment? Having AIDS and missng out on getting a cure that could have gotten rid of your disease.

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Who enjoys hearty wank sessions with friends and long walks on the beach? David Cameron.

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What's similar between a yellow bicycle and blue potatoes? They both have weight.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Hatch. Hatch who? God bless you.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Why is the sky blue? As the light from our Sun shines into the atmosphere, most of the colors are able to reach the Earth’s surface uninterrupted. However, because blue light has a wavelength that is the same size as the particulates in the air, this light is scattered in every direction. This blue light bounces from particulate to particulate until it eventually reaches your eyes. For this reason, no matter what direction you look in the sky, it appears to be blue. This blue light originated with the Sun, was bounced around in the sky many times, and then eventually reached your eyes.

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Steve Mullings isn't on drugs

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A man walks into bar and orders a drink. The bartender says " Hey I saw a bunch of men coming in and out of your house while you were on vacation last week." The man replied " I know. That's because my wife is a prostitute."

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Hahahahaha your nan had HIV and died.lol

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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