Why did the chicken cross the road? The grass is always greener on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What peels, is a fruit, yellow and tastes like a bannana? A bannana.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why didn't the man jump out of his window when his house was on fire? Because he is afraid of heights.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's hotter than a beautiful girl in a bikini? Among many things, the Sun, the Earth's core, the inside of a volcano...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How did Jimmy get hit by the car? He dropped his Ice cream cone.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

whats small and tickles? pubic lice

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Haiku's are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q: Why did the chicken cross the side of the road? A: To get to the other vagina

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm chuck norris. And I approve of this message.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Boy:well you merry me. Girl:no Boy: why not? Girl:becuase you're rapeing me

thumb_up thumb_down -3

This is my fist. Would you politely run into it as fast as you can?

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q.why did the monkey fall out the tree? A. it was dead Q. why did the second monkey fall out the tree? A. it was hanging onto the first one Q. why did the third monkey fall out the tree? A. peer pressure

thumb_up thumb_down -3

what's the difference between rice and an asian? one is a food.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Yo mama is so stuPid that she blew a man for bus money then walked home

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Steve is 12. He has a friend named Gary. Later in his life steve will realize that he is gay and will fall for a man also named Gary. Gary and steve will be together forever. Until steves friend gary goes insane because this man has stollen his name and go and kill the other gary. The end.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why are hurricanes named after women? I don't know I was asking you

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A guy walks into a grocery store. He asks a lady where the potatoes are. She says on isle 5 He goes to isle 5, but there are no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

At his sentencing, a judge tells a convicted murderer that he will be hanged at noon on one weekday in the following week but that the execution will be a surprise to the prisoner. He will not know the day of the hanging until the executioner knocks on his cell door at noon that day. Having reflected on his sentence, the prisoner draws the conclusion that he will survive the hanging. His reasoning is in several parts. He begins by concluding that the "surprise hanging" can't be on Friday, because if he hasn't been hanged by Thursday, there is only one day left - and so it won't be a surprise if he's hanged on Friday. Since the judge's sentence stipulated that the hanging would be a surprise to him, he concludes it cannot occur on Friday. He then reasons that the surprise hanging cannot be on Thursday either, because Friday has already been eliminated and if he hasn't been hanged by Wednesday night, the hanging must occur on Thursday, making a Thursday hanging not a surprise either. By similar reasoning he concludes that the hanging can also not occur on Wednesday, Tuesday or Monday. Joyfully he goes to his cell confident that he has been spared from the hanging. The next week, the executioner knocks on the prisoner's door at noon on Wednesday and prisoner is completely surprised!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She compiled and saw the error of her ways.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the man take a shower?, he didint smell so good...

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How does shit taste?\ Good.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family attempted to cross the road approximately 30 seconds earlier and were immediately struck by a moving vehicle traveling at 45 miles per hour. He crossed the road to try to comfort his family while they took their final breathes of life. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a man that had recently been laid off from his union job and came down with a disease that is considered uncurable by modern science.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops