What happened after the man with no arms and legs lost his keys? He called the police.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I have five fingers, When will you put the ring on the one NEXT to the middle one? Never?! F you.

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A black man and a Mexican are in a car. Who's driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. Alex had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. It started raining and an off-duty police officer picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel for drinks. The friends had a wonderful trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months later John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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A middle aged man goes to a psychic. She tells him that he has prostate cancer, and his wife has been cheating on him for the past 3 years.

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How did the girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

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There is a bus driving down the street, suddenly a man jumps out of the buss and splatters on to the sidewalk, why does he jump out? the buss driver was asian

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Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory because she kept throwing away the w's

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It depends on the person. To generalize and select one sport to represent the entire race would be stereotyping.

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How do you know a blonde's been in your refrigerator?? There's lipstick on the cucumber!

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penis likes vagina cuz its straight (get it?? it has an erection!!!!!!)

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How do you get to the store, if your car is broken down? Steal a blind girls bike, she can't ride it anyway!

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What's the difference between Jordan and Time? Time passes!!

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? I don't know. The woodchuck won't chuck wood.

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"We wear pink on Wednesdays"" -Mean Girls, 2004

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Barbara Streisand

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nick ya honkin of b.o m8

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What did dick Cheney say to his friend that he accidentally shot in the face while quail hunting? Sorry for shooting you in the face

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you're mommas so fat that her doctor says she is morbitly obese and may die of a heart failure later in life

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Why do black people love kool aid? It is cools them down on a warm summer day and it tastes great! OHHHH YEAAAAHHHHH

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why does beyonce sing to the left? because it has a catchy tune

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find the mistake in this sentence: Sadam Hussein: "hello" mistake: Sadam Hussein said hello!

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what is brown and wet? Muddy water

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Why did Sally sell seashells by the seashore? Because she has no arms and couldn't find a job.

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What do you call a person with no arms, legs, and teeth singing in the middle of the street while spinning? I don't know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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