A man walks up to a girl and says "Hello there" The girl doesn't respond because she has been deaf and blind for her entire life and doesn't know he is there. Potatoes.

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a hobo begs and begs for a dollar to buy something. a man finally gives him a dollar. what does the hobo buy? nothing. he walked into 711 and got shot.

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A movie trilogy about an alphabet book. A ten minute long movie about a complete lifespan. A 600 pages long book on how to stop procrastination. A two page book about the top 600 award winning pictures. CALL NOW FOR A TELESCOPE INCLUDED! (So you can see the stars and fuck the book altogether) Juggernaut: IM THE JUGGERNAUTBITCH! Me: Hi, mind if I just call you bitch for short? Your life sucks sometimes because Karma is a bitch... ...My bitch ;)

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What do you call a 46 year old man with one eye 4'5 and has one arm coming out of his chest Steve

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Why was Sally gone for her father's birthday? She went on a camping trip with her friends. Sally's friends were brutally murdered and she was kidnapped. The kidnapper cut off her arms and legs and left her in the middle of a suburban intersection late at night. The autopsy revealed that Sally died from blood loss from losing her limbs. It also revealed that she had contracted a fast growing tumor in her brain which would have most likely killed her within days of the murder anyway. Her family was living in the country illegally so her DNA did not reveal a computer file of her person. Her parents were not informed of her death for years because of this. When it was determined that the victim was the parents' daughter they were arrested for living in the country illegally and were not able to have a funeral.

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What's worse than having a spiked club shoved up your butthole? Not much.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was getting chased by nazis.

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YOU

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What rhymes with turtle? RAPE

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A Blonde Goes On "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire"

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What's frozen and eaten off a stick? Your dead uncle Norman

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Why did the sheriff cross the road? Cuz I told him to.

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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How do you make Justin Bieber cry? You take away his marijuana.

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a jewish person sees a nickel on a sidewalk and continues walking.

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Roses are red, Violoets are blue, I accidentally shat my pants. Brb

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and a lamborghini? Dead babies are not sports cars

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Your mom was so fat, She was overweight.

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Susie had no arms and no legs.. what did she get for Christmas? Cancer. Amy was riding on a swing.. who was pushing her? Not Susie.

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What's the worlds most popular burger? The Krabby Patty

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What's black and blue and afraid of sex The twelve year Old boy in my trunk

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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How do you make a girl scout cry? Steal her cookies

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops