roses are blue violets are red i messed up so f... this s..t

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr.dre

thumb_up thumb_down +2

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?... CAUSE HE FELT LIKE IT, IDIOT

thumb_up thumb_down +2

how do you make my dad say oww? throw a baseball bat at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I got pussies, cocks, asses and bitches. In my animal store.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does Santa do on Halloween? He gives out candy to the kids who come to his door.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A priest, a minister, and a rabbi all walk into a bar. They all say ouch and then continue walking. Although the minister did hit it at a higher speed and ended up with a black eye.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call two black people on one bike? Unsafe. Regular bicycles are typically not suited for use by two people at once, black or otherwise. Riding on the handlebars is dangerous and can lead to serious injury.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How do you find out if your son is ok? Ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What did the black man say to the sheriff? A: Good day, officer

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the blonde kid that was really gay He got a bad case of HIV

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is stupid, black and high? A stupid black kite.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why Is Helen Keller such a bad driver? Because she is a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you say to a friend named Alex? The Game

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why is it pointless to brutally kill and dismember a Japanese man? You'd be satisfying his sexual fetish.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A doctor walks out of the delivery room and relieves A nervous father, telling him that his new baby girl has just been born with great health. The father sighs in relief as happiness overwhelms him. With such great news, the doctor chuckles and continues on with the rest of what he had to relay to the father. Your wife died during the delivery.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A serial killer walks into a bar... He is finally arrested after killing several people within the bar, goes to court, and it was decided that he is suffering from a rare case of maddening schizophrenia, and sent indefinitely to a mental hospital...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I man walks into a bar. He orders a drink, takes around 13.5 minutes to drink it, then walks out. It takes him 10.7 minutes to walk home, 2.8 minutes less than he spent in the bar. When he is home, he decides to have a bath. 7.8 minutes into bathing, a radio plugged into an outlet near his tub falls into the water with him and he is killed. 29 miles away a woman sneezes twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Their is a stripper, a prostitute, and a pole dancer on a plane that is about to crash. They all die.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So a guy goes to his doctor because he thinks he has an STD. He asks the doctor "how bad is it doc?" to which the doctor replies "Well, I got the test results and it doesn't look good. You've got chlamydia, gonorrhea, and onomatopoeia. The guy asks "What's onomatopoeia?" The doctor replies "It's exactly what it sounds like"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

You mama's so fat, that the doctor suggested that she go on a diet.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anyone??????????/

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops