- Anti Joke

Your mama's so hairy, the only language she knows is wookie.

Why would it matter if they believed such a thing? Are you trying to screw me over? You know that I am very competent at making myself seem like a total jackass myself right? You got a point, it is not my role to help others in life, I just guess I enjoy repairing others, it sure is a hell lot easier than repairing myself, I just enjoy repairing things I can repair I suppose, now using them as my henchmen that's just worthless. The way I see it, people that wage wars, control others, indoctrinate them, and/or accumulate great sums of wealth to the point where, well its pointless, are all just overcompensating, trying to make up for something that they cannot repair within themselves. It is only natural, I mean we humans, if we lack something, we get a lot more of something else. Thanks, you are right about that whole "soul incident" as I call it, it is strange how people often seem to know each other a lot better than they know themselves, I mean I could at any time choose to quit, to become like others, to surrender my individuality, to "give up my soul" or rather the essence of what makes us unique. But you know, ill rather die than live as a servant for a society many would say I never truly learned to understand. Truth is, I will never accept it, if true strength stops arriving from within, its because people choose to seek it from others, the day I require the approval of others in order to sustain myself, ill off myself, that's not a real definition of existence as far as my opinion goes. I mean what are we worth to ourselves, if we become beings that base our so called value on what others think about us? We should focus on becoming those that spread joy and inspire others, rather than to seek inspiration and joy from others. Why? Because its a win win scenario, you cannot spread joy if you got none, you cannot inspire others if we have no inspiration, I guess you can fake it, sometimes until it becomes real, but that is mental-ism and not ideology (not that they are complete opposites, and if they are not opposites, they can work as a synergy) I guess I had forgotten about that, tell yourself that you are great enough, and you become great, excuse me, I am dead tired, its been hours, say, how are you doing?

Why can't Hellen Keller have kids? Because she's dead, therefore does not possess the ability to bear children.

A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch!" Later that day, the man's daughter takes him to the doctor because he's acting strangely. The doctor gives him an MRI and the daughter is told that her father sustained severe brain damage from the injury. Now the daughter has to juggle taking care of her father, taking care of a child she bore from a drunken one-night stand, and recovering from her meth addiction at a rehab facility, all while making minimum wage at her dead end job. Eventually she hangs herself, leaving her father and child to slowly die on their own.

A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

A man walks in to a bar. Ouch.

What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. One of its legs is both the same

A cow and a whale are swimming in the sea when they both realize this is Vietnam and they were really chimps

You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

When you hit an animal Realize your out of your mind Then realize the animals mind is over there in the ditch.

like if u think princess kenny is the fairest maiden in all the land. if u dont, disregard this message.

who holds the world record for longest amount of time on fire? Jim Rome

WHAT HAS MAN BOOBS THE SIXE OF JUPITER BOMBER NEVILLE

Did you hear the one about the chicken crossing the road? It wanted to go to the other side.

An old friend of mine had an idea. "Socks, but for your hands." I laughed until the day I heard he died of chaffed penis.

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

There are two parrots sitting on a perch. One parrot says to the other parrot, "Do you smell fish?"

One Direction has 12 letters. So does gayyyyyyyyyy. Coincidence? I think not.

This is an anti-anti-joke.

What do you call a group of geese? A giggle

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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