An Asian, Burnett, and a Blond are stranded on an island. They all say, "What the crap?! How'd I get on this island?!"

Why couldn't the Hispanic guy become a firefighter? Because the fire chief was racist.

A black, a muslim, and a communist walk into a bar, the bartender says "what will it be Mr. President?

Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

John had 32 candy bars. He ate 28 of them. What does John have now? daibetes, john has diabetes.

What do you get when you mix a dog and a cow blood everywhere

What did the chicken say to the rhino? Nothing. Animals can't talk.

A dog walks into a bar, looks at the bartender, lifts its leg and pisses on a bar stool. What does the bartender do ? He chases the dog out the bar and gets a mop to mop up the piss.

What did the tractor say to the cow? I'm a tractor, you're a cow, go figure.

Whut r bacer dew? Eh muphin

What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

the world flooded and everybody died how did they die? the all fell into lava!

how do you wake lady gaga up? you hit her in the face with a frying pan

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Leukemia

What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHAA HAHAHAaaa WHYYYYYYYYY!?

I've got a boner

Eating chicken off a baby's ass

Which came first the egg or the chicken? The chicken because eggs can't cross the road

GIVE

Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

Why did the girl drop her lollipop? She got hit by a truck

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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