What do you call something you should prepare yourself for when having sex with a prostitute? A.I.D.S

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the world flooded and everybody died how did they die? the all fell into lava!

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Leukemia

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What's the difference between a cat and a dog? Vast. While they are both mammals belonging to the order Carnivora, and therefore have a loose evolutionary connection, dogs belong to the Carnidae family and cats belong to the Felidae family. There would need to be much biological research done to discover all of the differences that result from this.

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What's black and white and red all over. An interracial suicide pact.

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Eating chicken off a baby's ass

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Which came first the egg or the chicken? The chicken because eggs can't cross the road

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GIVE

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Why couldn't the morbidly obese lady order a cheeseburger? A: Because it wasn't on the menu

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Person 1: What's 2+2? Person 2: 4 Person 1: Oh, you already heard that one.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long face?". The horse doesn't reply because horse can't talk.

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In Soviet Russia, there are communists.

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Why did the postal worker go to work? Because he has to support his family so they do not starve like his dog.

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did you hear the one about the boyscout and his scoutmaster? They had a lovely relationship, and both went on to be role models.

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An Asian, Burnett, and a Blond are stranded on an island. They all say, "What the crap?! How'd I get on this island?!"

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Why couldn't the Hispanic guy become a firefighter? Because the fire chief was racist.

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Q: What did the first kid say to the second kid before he handed him a pencil? A: May I have a pencil?

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What`s the best part about twenty-three year olds? there are twenty of them

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A: Knock Knock. B: ... A: Knock Knock. B: ... A: I guess nobody's home. (leaves.)

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Caitlyn.

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When life gives you oranges, make lemonade.

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Whut r bacer dew? Eh muphin

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Why did the black man run from the officer? The officer was trying to rape him.

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Why did Benjamin Franklin go to the movies? Dim message, sapi message=InputBox("Find Out","Why did Benjamin Franklin Go To the Movies?") Set sapi=CreateObject("sapi.spvoice") sapi.Speak message

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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