Why did the boy drop his ice-cream? He was shot in the back, knifed in the face, kicked in the groin, poo'd on by an alpaka, had frogs stapled to his face, his hair burnt off, pushed off a cliff, eaten by a scorpian, lost his arms legs and eyeballs, squashed by a hippo, ran over by a buss, truck and cement mixer, had cement poured on his frogs (that were stapled to his face), became morbidly obese, was raped by a chicken, was served as sauce at an italian resturant, was done by his mother's father's grandson, broke both of his detatched legs, crashed his car, went into a time machine and was crushed by a stegosaurous, had a lemon squesed in his detatched eyes, got high on cokeawana, was crushed to death by a garbage disposer and was rejected by the hobo at the shelter? no, actually, he tripped

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A priest, a rabbi, and a monk are standing near a cliff. They say that they are of the best religion. The priest jumps off the cliff and says "God save me", he dies. The rabbi says "Allah save me", he dies. The monk says "Buddha save me" he is saved, in relief he says "Oh thank God" he dies

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Guns don't kill people; high speed bullets and sharp projectiles launched at high speeds usually inflict painful and possibly fatal wounds that may kill someone. That someone loves and is loved by others.

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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What's worse then one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse then two bee stings? The Holocaust . What worse then the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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nobody move, or i'll kill myself, then her!

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Why did Brooke go to the bathroom? She had to pee

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why did the blond have a broken nose? because she was brutaly beaten by five rapists when she refused to have sex with them.

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2 guys walk into a bar the first gys says id like a beer the second guy says me to

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Person: Hello Parking Meter! Parking Meter: Hello! The person then backed away in fear

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Your momma's so fat that she can't pass through some turnstiles and needs go through some other way with people staring and feel sad about it.

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Me and my wife set and watch the eleven o'clock news every night. My wife always thinks that she has the different disease that is mentioned each day. One night she was practically in tears telling me that she had the disease that was talked about that night. I looked at her and said "honey, there is no way that you have testicular cancer. You don't even have testiculars." The End

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Knock, Knock? Who's There? Not Suzie

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What are 3 skills black people have that they use for basketball? Great hand eye co-ordination, communication and encouragement.

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Yo momma's so fat she ate Sally's arms. Knock Knock Who's There. The police we have a warrant for your mothers arrest on charges of cannibalism and kidnapping.

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WHAT DO U CALL GINGERS GABRIELLA

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what does a squid and a worm have in commen they both are animals

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Penis.

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-Whats not funny and has wheels? >What? -The Holocaust... I was lying about the wheels

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What do You call a man with no arms or legs? Dead, He died of blood loss 3 hours ago

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How do you get your mom off a clown? hit your mom with an axe

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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You can tell I have many friends because I got them to like this.

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Ross Tumilty is gay 8===D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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