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How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

What do you call an African American who flies a plane? A Pilot

What do you call a guy wearing a white leisure suit? Mister Rourk? No, you call the dud wearing the white duds.

How did the boy break his hand? He slammed it in a car door.

Little Miss Muffett sat on her tuffet eating her curds and whey along came her food allergies and she died

A blond walks into an electronics store. Then she promptly walks out, as she got the wrong store.

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's wife? No. Oh don't worry then.

What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

What's the difference between a Jewish child and pizza? Pizza does not scream in the oven.

Why did the bud driver drop his ice cream? Because he hit a boy.

-"Hey! You guys wanna hear a joke" -"What?" -"Womens Rights"

My girlfriend dumped me because I'm patronizing. That means I treat people like they're stupid.

The grandfather's grandson said, "They charged me $10 just for a cup of coffee!" The grandfather said, "They charged me with bayonets."

Roses are red Violets are blue Plants are green because of the high levels of mitochondria in their cells.

How long does it take to build a wall? it depends on how big he wall is

What do you call a Muslim that walks onto a plane? A passenger

Why was 6 afraid of 7? because 7 had a gun.

How do you fit 1000 babies into a trashcan? You don't that would be wasteful! You Eat Them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

koala's try to hit on teddy bears...... desperate even though we know extinction's comin

knowone loved me why???????????????????????? because they were so damm ugly

im not food

Why Johnny's parents threw out his broken bike? - ´Cause Johnny got ran over by a drunken driver yesterday, when he was cycling back home from school.

why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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