Whats two plus two? Miles

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Three people are stranded on an island. They didn't want to eat each other because they were friends. They died of starvation.

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what do a carrot and an elephant have in common? theyre both orange except for the elephant.

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if my evil next door neighbor is building a rocket to steal the moon with the help of 3 little girls, a grumpy old man and about 5000 small yellow poeple; what do i do? get sued for coping a copyrighted movie plot

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why couldnt the man dunk? because he was 3' 2" and a legal midget.

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Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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What's worse than getting a flat tire on a date? getting one while rushing your dying grandfather to the hospital.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? Because he accidently dropped it.

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-Whats not funny and has wheels? >What? -The Holocaust... I was lying about the wheels

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Jimmy clenches his fist, a crack his heard. Jimmy begins to cry knowing his arthritis has gotten worse.

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You can tell I have many friends because I got them to like this.

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what's gray, rectangular, and provides a good time? your mother's sex tape.

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Why did the giant frog attack the party goers with a ballistic missile? oh where tos tart...it's, just such a long story, I don't really know where to begin, in fact it's probably better if you just take my word for it, no need to go into details. we just don't have time for that now.

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Three french men are in the car wearing sombreros. They're trying to get to Disney World.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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What happened to the baby bird? It fell out the nest

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What do silly people in a monastery say? stop munkying around.

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A duck walks into a restraunt and sit's down at it's table. The waiter asks what the duck would like to eat. The duck says "I'd like a tasty, healthy meal that will help me lose weight." The waiter says "How about the rocket salad?" So, the duck orders a rocket salad, eat's it, pays his bill, and leaves.

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Koalas mum is a slut

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What's do you call a prostitute in a hospital? A concerned parent.

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What did the suspicious Hunchback say? I've got a hunch.

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what do you call a black who stabbed your entire family? it all depends on what his name happens to be

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? an email from PETA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops