What did the blind, deaf, quadriplegic boy get for Christmas? Cancer.

Why did the priest touch the little boy? To Baptise him.

What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

i did not type this on 12/23/11 at 8:49:47

What did zero say to ten? I see you found someone

Man: Docter it hurts when i touch my legs! Docter: yeah you have two shattered knee caps youll never walk again.

A Jew and a Nazi have dinner together...... they both immensely enjoyed the wine.

Wanna hear a joke? Good, go ask a comedian.

Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they're already smart enough to achieve interplanetary space travel.

A French, an American and a Belgian are going together on holidays. I hope they'll have good weather.

A doctor walks into a room after a woman has just given birth to her baby Doctor: I've got some good news and some bad news Mom: Whats the bad news? Doctor: Your Baby is Ginger. Mom: So what's the good news? Doctor: It's dead.

how are a plum and a rabbit the same? they are both purple except the rabbit

How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Lean a ladder against the tree and reassure them if they are apprehensive.

am i invited to party? no

the world flooded and everybody died how did they die? the all fell into lava!

What is one plus one? I don't want to do math.

So three Mexicans, a black man, and 2 white men enter a room. They promptly sever their penises and jump out the window because they are all members of a strange cult.

what does a blue watermelon and a cactus that looks like a penis have in common? orange ya glad i didn't say banana!

Knock Knock Who's there? Doctor. Doctor who? What? No? I'm here to inform you that your child won't be coming out of that coma, I'm sorry.

Two muffins were sitting in an oven. The first muffin did not look over to the other one and did not talk to it because muffins are objects and do not have the ability to communicate.

Hey i just met you & this is crazy but Nia and Goober Made a baby

Eating chicken off a baby's ass

GIVE

What happened to the prisoner who dropped the soap while in the shower with other men? Another prisoner picked up and gave it to him and finished showering and felt squeaky clean.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...