Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

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Why didn't the baby come to daycare? Because his mother got killed by spongebob

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What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

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What did the boy with four arms get for Christmas? A Laptop. Why couldn't he use it? He had no fingers.

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what do you call a woman with cancer wearing a wedding dress? a shouttellcock

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Why can't Amy Winehouse sing? She's dead.

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What did the old man say to kid who was begging to his mommy? Shut up.

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how did the jewish man die He had a fatal hard attack

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what's gray, red, and goes over a 100 mph? a toad in a blender

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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A man adopts an orphan. He waits till the child is a teenager to tell the news. He then commits suicide as to scar the child emotionally for the rest of its life.

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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How many freudians does it take to unscrew a light bulb? Two. One who unscrew the lightbulb and another who hold the penis....eehhh i mean ladder.

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I wouldn't consider the Titanic sinking to be a disaster, ????It is better down where it is wetter under the sea! ????.

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Your a bus driver, at the first stop, 4 people get on. At the second stop, 2 people get off. At the third stop, 7 people get off. At the fourth stop, everyone gets off. What is the bus drivers name?

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Whats green, lies in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? A girl scout that got hit by a car

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Do dead Elves know it's Xmas ?

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Q: What's worse than stepping a LEGO in the middle of the night? A: A landmine

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So a woman walks into a store... There's a lamp selling for $5.99. She buys it because she thinks that's a pretty good deal.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? because he's a pussy.

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i like it in the mouth

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What does andy and burger king have in common? Nothing, thats why she is now banging josh!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops