- Anti Joke

How do you torture helen keller? Waterboard her.

What do you get when u cross a owl and a bungy cord...........my ass

,try this on a girl, say "can I pop your cherry.........soda bottle cap off your cherry soda bottle?"

how come the jews were not laughing? because they were in a concentration camp

Why did the woman buy peanut butter and a puppy? Her husband just died. She was trying to fill the void in her soul with junk food and companionship.

what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

No deal, blind trust and I help you, or no friendship, and certainly no reason to help you.

What's the most common way to become mentally challenged? Getting hit by a shovel a couple times

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

YOU

Funny names Alec Balls Isaac Balls Dick Hedd Willy lickerr Lydia Stick Gaylord Sugar Fanny Gouger

canadians

Knock, knock. Come in.

A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

Person 1: Ask me if I'm a truck? Person 2: Are you a truck? Person 1: No.

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Bees inside of your eyeballs.

Why can't Helen Kellen drive? She's a woman.

Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

Whats worse than finding a repeated joke on anti-joke? Nothing.

What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

If i open this door you can go trough it

What's brown and smells like poo? Poo.

Your mom is so fat, she suffers from heart disease, high blood pressure, and type 2 diabetes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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