What did the orphan get for christmas? Glaucoma.

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Why did the boy fall off the zipline? He had no arms.

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Your momma so stupid that it's really inspiring she managed to overcome her limitations and raise such a wonderful family.

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why did tiarnan not ride hi bike to school today? Tiarnans dead

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Joe used to always talk about his family and his two wonderful kids Joe can no longer talk to or about his family because his smoking habits have gotten out of control

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Whats green and red, in a ditch, and has cookie crumbs all over it. The girl scout i ran over with my car.

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why was the man on the roof? he was about to commit suicide.

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Why was a black person on the run, being trailed by police officers? They were all late to work; their work places were coincidentally situated near each other.

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hey

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? Not having an apple, reguardless of its inhabitants.

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What does a female Nazi call a tampon? A twatskika.

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Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

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If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? A testicle

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What did the cop say to the black man being arrested? His Miranda rights.

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What do you call a person who dies in march A dead person

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What is a bad thing to see and is attached to a boy's body. The middle finger u dumb ass!

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Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Biting into a worm and finding an apple.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have alzheimer's, cheese on toast

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What is worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

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Whats black and blue and red all over? An infant after its been beaten with a bat.

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How do Chinese parents name their children? With deep thought and consideration about a thoughtful, respectful and honorable name.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Knock, knock. Come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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