A man finds a mysterious lamp on the side of the road. He picks it up, rubs it, and sells the lamp at a pawn shop for $10,000. The man paid off his credit card debt and was happy that he did not have to file for bankruptcy.

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Killing people is not illegal just ask a soldier

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What did the Iraqi Suicide bomber bring on the airplane? His Kindle, he enjoys reading books

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Why were the kids screaming? They were being chased by a giant ferocious spiny lobster.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To suck my dick

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once upon a time, it snowed

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Knock knock Who's there No one We are all on the computer

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A blonde is elected President of the United States. Half way through her inauguration speech, she forgets how to read.

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What smells like satans pubic hair and dresses like a woman? Vinny Trolia

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Why did the banana explode? Because it was a grenade!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? When 6 was younger, he was made fun of by all the bigger numbers. Everyday after school he would go home and wonder why he was made fun of. Was it his looks? How tall he was? The pain and suffering never stopped. He thought of suicide every day he got home from school. One day his mom got home from work and found 6 bleeding in the shower. She thought he was dead. She hurried him to the hospital where he was barely kept alive. After months of recovery, he started going back to school. The bullying never stopped, they started calling him a loser who should have died. He got older and depressed as a teenager. He got ahold of alcohol and began drinking. He went to meetings and got over his addiction. 10 years later he meets up with 7. It takes him back to his horrible childhood with the big numbers. Every time 6 sees 7, he gets reminded of everything. 7 had also murdered someone in front of 6.

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Why doesn't Michael Jackson sleep with boys anymore? -Because he is dead.

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What is similar about a goose and newly weds? They both aren't chairs

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YO MAMA SO SHORT she should really consider wearing long tunic-like blouses, prints that contain vertical stripes, and heeled shoes with a pointed toe in order to create the illusion of length to her silhouette. That having been said, society's limited definition of beauty is quite inadequate for the diverse world in which we live.

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when there's trouble lurking in your neighbourhood, who you gonna call? The local authorities.

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Q: What do you get when you cross an Elephant and a Rhinoceros? A: Merriam-Webster defines "cross" as "an affliction that tries one's virtue, steadfastness, or patience." This comedic exercise is one such affliction.

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two scientists walk into a bar. one says, "i want h2o." the other says, "i want h2o too." the bartender gives them both water and nobody dies because he is not irresponsible enough to give someone concentrated hydrogen peroxide as a drink.

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Why did the cat bite its owner? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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1,2,3,4,5... 6.

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whats worse than getting raped by ben rothlesburger well rape-victims claim that rape has ruined their lives and most of them go into deep depression and need therapy so maybe the only worse thing is getting raped again by kobe ---sticksack

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Why do black people have the whitest teeth? Because they brush regularly.

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What did the girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was homeless and dead.

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What's the difference between a fat person and a whale? The quality of the fat. -Japan

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How much cocain did Charlie sheen do? Enough to kill 2 and a half men

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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