If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

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The only thing worse than finding a repeated joke on Anti-Joke is finding a REAL joke on Anti-Joke

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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Once there was a dog, another one came to it and then there were two.

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A black man with a blond beard came to deliver me a pizza. I paid him, tipped him, and closed my door. I forgot the pizza. Dammit.

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Q. why did I get hurt A. My pants fell off

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What rhymes with float,boat,moat,coat and goat but can not be on a boat, can not float, can not be in a moat, can not be on a coat and can not ride a goat? A zoat because it's not a real word and therefore is incapable of doing any of those things.

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A teacher, a consturction worker, and an army general are on an airplane. The pilot tells them the plane has too much weight, and if they don't each drop one item then the plane will crash. Realizing one item each is obviously not enough weight to throw off, the teacher and the construction worker team up and throw the army genral off the plane. They land safely, and live the rest of their life haunted by their vile actions.

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Friends are like potatoes, when you eat them, they die.

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You wanna see something really scary?

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Why did the 14 year old girl have sex? Because she's in love with her boyfriend and that's how she expresses it.

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How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dyslexic men? 25

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A man killed himself.

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Your mother is so fat, that recent test results have proved she is morbidly obese.

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Your mama is so ugly. But she is still a respected member of the community

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What did the Cow say to the Chicken? Nothing animals cant talk

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What do you call it when you have sex with a black man? Sex

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Knock knock? Who's There? I AMMM!!! (thumb this down please xD)

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What's funnier than a Laffy Taffy joke? Almost anything.

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Why did the black 10 year old miss school? Because his grandmother just had a severe heart attack and the whole family is coming in to visit and pay their last respects.

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Whats Stupider than john? Nothing.. he's certifiably retarded

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Why do vampires drink blood? Maybe if they existed you could ask one.

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What's the difference between a sewer pipe and a French fry? A lot

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how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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