Why are there no swimming pools in Mexico? The average yearly income is $3,523, and pool chemicals are very expensive.

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What happened to the woman who walked down a dark alley way? She found a lolly.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A white person went to see Think like a Lady by Steve Harvey.

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Aww Eliza, thanks for being around in spirit, dont leave yet, I am kinda having breathing problems, and Alice says my something levels are dropping because I need solid food, please dont leave, I cant tell time even with a watch, but would you mind waiting a bit? Ill eat fast, somehow.

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What starts with F and ends in U C K? firetruck What starts with P and ends in O R N? popcorn What only costs 5 cents on weekends? your mom

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Random question: Whats black and white, green, and black and white? Well thought out correct answer: 2 zebras fighting over a pickle

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Texas! You are doing it the wrong way! Learn from Hitler, gas is cheaper.

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Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

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What happens when you put the batteries in BACKWARDS in the Energizer Bunny? Nothing. Nothing happens when you insert batteries backwards

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Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

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What is black, white and red all over? An interracial couple that has been shot and murdered.

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What is the difference between a Mexican and a bike? they both get hit by cars in shady neighborhoods, like Copiague, New York

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Q:What do you call a black man that got to the moon and back in a space rocket? A: A golfer, he is a pro golfer now!

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Trees are my friends because they welcome me with open limbs.

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What comes after 69? 70

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He didn't he was chicken

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What's funnier than a dead baby? -A dead baby sitting next to a kid with Down Syndrome.

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A baby seal walks into a club.

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Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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A blonde is elected President of the United States. Half way through her inauguration speech, she forgets how to read.

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What is 6 1/2 inches when erected? My penis.

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Why was the homeless man lying on the floor? Because he was dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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