Hey, i just met you. And this is crazy! But im on bathsalts ! *GAUH* Your face looks tasty!! :D

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Why did Lucy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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George Washington delivered a short speech to his troops before they crossed the delaware river. Here it is: "Get in the boat."

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

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Moooo

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Q. What do you call a man with a shovel in his head? A. An ambulance due to the fact that he has a rather serious head wound.

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How did Jane fall off the swing? Jane had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Jane.

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Lets just say some of my boys owed me a favor, and that if we where all "clean slate workers" I would never have been able to pull some favors out of the higher ups. As far as for "these Shadows" of yours, I know nothing, while I invented the encoding format for the messages you use, I intend keeping it to myself. People here will still assume this is bullshit unless you get somebody to hack this site, believe me, its pretty damn easy to retrieve whatever data might have been lost.

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what do you call a black man in the bank holding a bag of money. One wealthy man

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Why do jews love money so much? Because money is very valuable and everyone loves it.

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whats worse than biting your apple and finding a worm? WWII.

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Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

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why did the chicken cross the road?... it actually didn't

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What's black and white and red all over? A bloody zebra.

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2 + 2 = 4

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Is that my bread? I sure hope so.

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What do u call a man with no arms and no legs and is laying in front of a door? Matt

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Knock Knock Who's there? The FBI. We need to check your house for dead bodies.

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What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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Why did the kid fall off his swing? Because his mum threw a fridge at him.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. (do you get it cause the robot has no arms)

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When there's something strange in your neighborhood, who ya gonna call? The Police. There's something strange in your neighborhood.

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Why are black people so good at basketball? Not all black people are skilled at basketball

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops