An old man walks into a bar. He drinks 3 beers and dies. The bartender calls paramedics but when the police came they arrested the bartender for beating his wife. A few hours later an earthquake destroys the bar and everyone was evacuated and many were injured. The manager was driving to the scene but has a car accident with the ambulance. It was such a bad day.

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Why did the black person sit in the back of bus? All the other seats were taken.

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What does a horse and a donkey have in common? They are both very different from trees

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Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

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I hated hipsters before hating hipsters was mainstream. Does that make it sound like I have a fixed gear bicycle? Because I don't... I promise... What's a fixed gear bicycle, you ask? You mean you don't know???

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What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

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kid: dad! a kid called me gay today! dad: son, im 100% ok with u hurting that kid! kid: i cant! hes too cute.

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violets are red my name is bob this poem makes no sense microwave

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why did the boy trip off a cliff? because he was clumsy.

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Whats red and bad for your teeth? A brick Courtesy of: http://samsjokeoftheweek.moonfruit.com/

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An Admiral walks into Ackbar...

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Why did the kid give a bad presentation in class? He knew basically nothing about the topic, and on top of that had a large erection.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was scary.. made by Kevin Kool

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Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

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knock knock ? Who's there ? idunnop idunnop who ? Eww you've done a what?!

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How do you get 100 midgets into a mini? You have to manufacture a mini big enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It won't be street legal, but at least your problem with fitting the midgets in the mini is solved.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

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There is a high speed police pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns to the other and says "Moo".

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Why was the man late for work? Because he slept in.

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How did the lawyer survive the airplane crash? He didn't.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is something I love to eat, the other is a watermelon.

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Q. Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he got shot. Q. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? A. Because he was stapled to the first monkey.

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What's black and is as fast as a car? A black car.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops