In 2030, what will most people be doing for a living? Using food stamps.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his family.

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Why did Jimmy drop his ice cream? He was hit by a truck.

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I took my mum for a big shop the other day, we used the parent and child spot, not like there's an age range on it. - Peter Kay Try parking in the furthest spot away from the shop and you might burn some calories. -Me

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A bus full of retarded kids got broken on his way. One kid suggested to the bus driver that the problem could be with the brakes, as that kid's father was a mechanic.

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How does an electrician install an outlet? I don't know. I'm not an electrician.t

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What do you do when you come across a dead baby? Add it to your collection.

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: His name.

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Knock knock. who's there? Banana. Banana Who? Knock KNOCK!!! WHO IS THERE!!! BANANA!!!! BANANA WHOOOOO!!! Banana Johnson....... I'M YOUR NEIGHBOR!!!!

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Knock Knock Who's There Nobody Nobody Who?

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Why couldn't he play piano? Because he is an untalented piece of shit.

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How do you get an annoying baby to shut up? Hit it with a bat

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wat is the difference between rainbows and poop? I LOVE RAINBOWS!

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every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

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Why did the Mexican cut his neighbor's lawn? His neighbor cut his lawn the previous week.

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What is more boring than watching paint dry? Aids

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Q: How many hair styles do celebreties induce annualy? A: I have no clue but I'm pretty sure that's a midget defacing your house!

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Knock Knock Who's there? Chinese. What? Knock Knock.

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Why did the boy commit scuicide? Because he was mentaly scared due to constant tormenting and teasing from his friends

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I did your mom-A FAVOR-by making you-A SANDWICH-my favorite part was when she stripped-THE LETTUCE-then i touched her boob-OO-then we fucked

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how many blondes did it take to fix a nuclear reactor? 1 she was a black japanese rapist

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why was the boy sad his whole family just died in a plane crash

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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2 big black men walked up to me with baseball bats. they politely asked me if i wanted to join their friendly game of baseball

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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