A black man and a white man walk into a bar, "what will it be" said the bartender. Milk, chocolate milk.

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How do you prevent a baby from crawling all over the place? You nail his hands to the floor

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An airplane has 100 bricks on-board. If you drop one brick, how many bricks would be left? 99 -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put a giraffe inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, put the giraffe inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- How do you put an elephant inside a refrigerator? Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put the elephant inside, close the refrigerator. -------------------------------------------------------------------- The Lion King gathered all the animals from the land to a meeting. Everyone came, except one. Who was the animal? The elephant. He's still inside the refrigerator. ------------------------------------------------------------------- You want to cross a river, but you know that there are crocodiles there. There is no bridge, vines to swing from, etc. How do you cross the river? Swim across the river. The crocodiles are at the meeting with The Lion King. ------------------------------------------------------------------- So you swimmed over the river, but how did you still die? You were hit by the brick falling from the airplane.

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Three blondes walk into a bar. They have an intellectual conversation over some drinks.

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Duncan walks into a bar and is greeted by his friends Eric and Tom. Duncan tells them that his wife left and took the kids. Duncan then goes home and hangs himself.

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What ended in the year 1970? 1969

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An Irishman walks into a bar and orders a gin and tonic. The bartender gives him a sprite and charges him $12.

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Knock knock. Who isn't there? Not me. Don't come in. I won't.

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What's brown and sticky? Dog turd

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Q: yugdyijgdripgdghd A: sorry I'm retarted. I don't know wtf I'm doin

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Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

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Latvian guy said to the other latvian guy: ''Why did the chicken cross the road?'' The other latvian guy responded: ''In truth, i do not know. I have not seen chicken in 10 years. The last time was before the red army plundered my village. I can still hear all the screams from the women being raped. But, back to question. Where is this chicken you speak of? I have not eaten in days and my wife and children are close to starvation aswell''

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A sober Irish individual.

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Christopher Walken steps into a bar.

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What super hero did they choose to be on the Blue Jays' team? Batman!

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How long did it take the man to swim the Atlantic? I don't know. Everybody stopped counting after a while and went on with their lives. His body was never found.

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dyslexics of the world untie!

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What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

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Q. What did tthe little kid say when the bully punched him? A. Ow.

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"Knock knock..." "come in"

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whats the best joke ever? womens rights

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What's funny about a car accident involving three children, a widow, and a dog? Nothing.

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If you come to Anti-Joke.com to look at the Newest jokes please leave a comment. Thank you!

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why wont our kids have time to socialize? because theyll all be too busy trying to find a solution for global warming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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