Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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What did George W. Bush say to his wife when he got home? I'm home.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She didn't have arms.

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Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

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why did the rabit lose the race? it was a dumb@$$

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Why was the Nazi killed? for crimes against Humanity

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How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

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Why do undertakers wear ties? Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.

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A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc I feel like a pair of curtains!" The doctor replied, "That's probably because you're schizophrenic."

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What do you call an arab flying a 747? A pliot.

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What happened when a myriad people decided to partake in a large party while staying in a small room? They managed to make a compromise. The party got split into two groups: 50% of the original total in each casual confinement. In the end, everybody had a great time and nobody got hurt.

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a women walks into a room and says she got a good job..wait thats not possible..

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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whats 2+2? gonorrhea.

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Why did the person post a real joke with bad grammar and spelling on anti-joke.com? They didn't flippin' understand the point of the website.

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How are a bucket and a purple shovel alike? Coincidentally they both are registered sex offenders.

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A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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A 14 year old walks into a bar. The bartender yells "Hey, no minors allowed!" The 14 year old yells back "Excuse me? Do you see a fvcking pickaxe?"

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Arron Glass

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What to you do when a monkey walks into your bar? Quietly escort it out and into the nearest zoo.

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So three Mexicans, a black man, and 2 white men enter a room. They promptly sever their penises and jump out the window because they are all members of a strange cult.

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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Knock knock. It's me, the ratboy genius.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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