What do you call a snail driving a boat? An accident waiting to happen.

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what did the chicken cross the road? because its a chicken

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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I was approached the other day by an officer as he asked... "Son where are your parents?" I replied, "I dont know i'm an orphan" The officer then laughed and walked away

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I will create more jobs for americans

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What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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A black man and a white man walk into a bar, "what will it be" said the bartender. Milk, chocolate milk.

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Horse walks into a bar... Bartender says It's probably not a good idea that you're in here. You're a very large animal. Any sudden movements, you may injure somebody. I don't know why you're here. None of the glasses are ergonomically designed for you to drink from them. So, you should probably leave.

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Q. How can you find true love? A. Google it...duh

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What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My dick

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A boy was crying. He had been abused and beaten by his parents, and thrown in his room. He was devastated, and wanted to kill himself. He tossed and turned in bed, and moaned himself to sleep. When he awoke, he felt a chill up his spine, noticing that all of his blankets had been torn off of his bed, leaving only him and his mattress. He open the window, and jumped out of his three story building. Luckily, his bedroom was on the first floor. He ran away, and found a rich family that loved him so much until a week later, a murderer came and killed everyone, including him.

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I really want to know something would all of you like to go on Suspension for 3 weeks? Mr Goodwin

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A duck walks into a restraunt and sit's down at it's table. The waiter asks what the duck would like to eat. The duck says "I'd like a tasty, healthy meal that will help me lose weight." The waiter says "How about the rocket salad?" So, the duck orders a rocket salad, eat's it, pays his bill, and leaves.

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Q. Why did the fat boy cross the road? A. To go on a diet

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Q:What's red and hurts your teeth? A:A brick

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Why did the boy get hit by a bus? Because he was standing in front of the bus.

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man: im hungry can i have a sandwich wife: go make one man: then what are you gonna do

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Do you know why, when geese fly south for the winter, one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He realized he was in the ghetto

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

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what did the photographer tell the model? You're ugly.

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Is a tomato a vegetable? Depends if it is comatose.

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why was osama bin laden shot and killed? because he was a very violent man and deserved his punishment

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am a cow moo

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops