69- by Adam Chebali

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How many pieces of gum are in 5 gum? 5. i meen 7

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How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

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Why is a cat in the desert like Christmas? Because Egypt is a country of deserts, the Egyptians had cats and Jesus, Mary and Joseph escaped to Egypt in the Christmas story before Herod carried out his massacre in Bethlehem on baby boys of under two years old.

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uas;ugbasrG "khVESGF;OQWAEFH;OASEHFO;SAEFUASUusa;uefSOEHFSOEHDF;oasehf;oasehf;uoashvo;uasfo'H EF;owefhoaw;sefoasjefpiwaejf MINTY FRESGH

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No neither has he.

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Q: knok knok A: Im home

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What time is it when an elephant jumps over your fence? Actually, elephants don't jump.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It heard you like to choke the chicken.

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Q: How did the black man own the Lamborgini? A: He was 2 Chainz.

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why did I fall off a tree? cause i wanna to

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Why did the guy eat his mom? people get hungry in this world

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Knock Knock! Come in the door is unlocked. I have cookies!

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What's even worse than getting a parking ticket on your birthday? Child molestation.

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Why isn't eating an Olympic sport? Because that wouldn't make any sense.

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Why do people laugh at the number 69? Honestly I don't know, its just a number isn't it?

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whats the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? babies aren't fruit.

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It works on whoever I have an emotional attachment with, for example people might be thinking you and I write in the exact same style, but I am actually copying your way of typing (spelling, word composition etc) this because we relate on a deep emotional level with people that like "get us" because they can act and behave like us. This again doubles the effect of the hypnosis, since when I get "super high on trance" and you feel that way, well, we both reach into the same wavelength, literally. Scientists and hypnotists supposedly have no idea as to why this happens, but I know, it is because our brain patterns are so similar, that even though we are at a long distance, your body believes itself to be an extension of mine and the other way around. How do I know this? Yogurt.

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How many Spanish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? Uno

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holly shit!!!! when did i get on the internet !?

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

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When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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