the other day i saw a mouse run across my floor. i said "okay" and proceeded with my life

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if you read this you are gay

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hey i just F****d u and this is crazy so delete the number and keep the baby

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How do you keep a blonde busy? The best way to keep somebody busy is to make sure they have something to do, like get a job or a hobby or do some chores. The color of their hair is irrelevant.

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A Mexican, a Jew and an African walk into a bar. Now, it seem it was the Jew's turn to pay for drinks. So, all three ordered drinks, and the Jew paid for them.

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A child in Africa developed Malaria. He became very sick and died.

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whats brown, lying in a ditch, and is covered in cookie crumbs? a girl scout that got hit by a truck

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Ted Haggard.

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Why did the fat black man call the fatter white man. Because they were good friends and liked to talk.

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Why do you give a blond a gun You dont

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What has four legs, is green and furry, and if it falls out of a tree it will kill you? A pool table.

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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A man walks into a bar. He's covered in Ash because the north tower just collapsed.

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A man sees Bill Murray at a restaurant in Los Angeles and tells his friends about the incident. They believe the story, because it is entirely plausible that it actually happened.

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What's the difference between gold and silver? Atomic number

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Yo mama is so fat, so when she jumped of a building, she died.

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pigs are sometimes pink GOSH

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar.

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Why did the person post a real joke with bad grammar and spelling on anti-joke.com? They didn't flippin' understand the point of the website.

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If you have a green ball in your left hand and a green ball your right hand, what do you have? Kermit the Frog's undivided attention

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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One day, I was looking at my brand new wooden table, and I thought, "wow, that is a very nice brand new wooden table." And then my dog peed on it. I killed the dog.

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How's a raven like a writing desk. you really are alice.

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What will you be doing right before you die? ... ... living.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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