When life gives you skittles, throw them at random people and say "taste the freaking rainbow!"

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What do you call a man covered in magnets? Attractive

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How many people can you fit in an oven? A: I Don't know ask a holocaust survivor.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I regurgitate doorknobs

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how does an elephant ask for a bun? may i please have a bun?

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Why did the car stop? There was a fridge in the road

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A man walks into a barn the n was not visible

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Knock knock Who's there? The police. Your husband has been killed in an accident.

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Why did Doris have no control over her bladder? Because she was old and suffered catastrophic incontinence

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Haiku's are three lines long. This isn't a haiku.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Michael Jackson.

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whats worse than Brussels sprouts brussels sprouts that has petite vegetation, lack of sun causing mold and placed in a septic tank.

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Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to hit with a sledgehammer. The other one is a watermelon.

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Husband: Shut up, there is now playing for Real Madrid Woman: So what? come help me clean. Husband:after the game,now shut up. Woman:Everyone knows Barcelona better... Police: So you're saying your wife fell on the knife alone?

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The sons of modern psychology: COCAINE MOTHERF8CKERS! COMING OUT IN YOUR CINEMA RENTAL STORE YESTERDAY! Sold out. (yesterday)

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Two guys walk in a bar, and they die.

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Why was Hitler a bad person? He killed himself.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Yes.

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What do you say when a black girl asks you out? No!

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What did the midget say to the clown that was blocking the doorway? Excuse me

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Por que não passa Globo Esporte na Etiópia? Porque a Rede Globo não tem afiliadas por lá.

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How you learn to juggle? You ask someone for their balls.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey Everything is grey I'm color blind.

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Why did the boy punch his teacher? Muscle spasms.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops