What do you call a fish with one eye? A fish

thumb_up thumb_down -22

What does a scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -22

doctor , doctor , i feel depressed , we will start you on a course of anti-depressents , vitimins , and daily exercise, make a appointment for next week , and i will referrer you to a phycatrist

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call Bilbo Baggins when you use him for pleasure? Dildo Baggins

thumb_up thumb_down -24

being drunk in a mall sounds like it would be alot of fun . . . . . . . but that is public intoxication and that is against the law

thumb_up thumb_down -24

How do you kill a red elephant? You can't red elephants don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why didn't little Jimmy eat his dinner? Jimmy didn't eat his dinner because there was no food. Jimmy is a poor street urchin who died of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

what did the homeless man say to the stranger? nothing, he let he let his gun do the talking

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Yo mama is so ugly that the devil warships her.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What would Martin Luther King Jr. do if he was alive today? Scream at the top of his lungs as he tried to punch out the top of his coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

*insert lame joke stolen from the top 10 jokes and think it's original because I changed one word*

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the Mexican jump the fence? He was at his neighbors house and it was shorter to cut through yards than to walk to his house

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the man scream? because he was run over.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

how many jews can you fit in a volkswagon? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 6 million in the ash trey.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

The U.S. economy is in poor condition and it's downfall would have repercussions throughout the entire world.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

What do you call a man with no home or family? Charles Manson…He currently resides in jail.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Scrub that muck off at once Hubert Cumberdale!

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why is it that all cats dislike flying saucers? The strange noises and lights probably frighten them, as they don't understand the concepts of extra-terrestrial intelligence and space travel.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the clown drink all the sweet wine? Because he was an alcoholic.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did the mentally disabled child begin to cry? Because he shit himself

thumb_up thumb_down -24

womens rights

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops