What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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lets have sex, ok, but itll have to be anal, cuz im a guy xoxox danni

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The biggest lie in the world . . . I have read and agree to the Terms of Service

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What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

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How did the Nazis torture someone? They inserted a glass tube in the penis and flicked the end so that it shattered.

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your mother is so obese, that she really should look into eating a well balanced diet and taking part in an excercise plan that suits her

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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This is a stupid joke. Get it to the top of the list and Kobe Bryant will pass to you.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

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Knock Knock Who's there? The Gestapo

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Why was the black man unemployed and in debt? Because current socio-economic realities and systematic racial discrimination place him at a disadvantage in terms of education and employment. Indeed, it is statistically probable that he was raised below the poverty-line, greatly limiting his access to goods and services and his future options from birth.

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Why didn't the busy San Francisco business man hear his alarm clock ring this morning? A nuclear bomb blast occurred 700 meters from his front door. The estimated blast radius was approximately 100 square miles. Naturally, his alarm clock didn't make it.

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An orphan walks into a bar. The bartender calls Child Protective Services and is given to a nice foster family.

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I ran out of anti-jokes. However, here's a cool math puzzle. 492 357 816 Using every number from 1-9, each row added up equals to 15, horizontally, vertically, and diagonally. Here's another cool word play TEA URN BAY Words horizontally are Tea, Urn, Bay Words vertically are Tub, Era, Any Words diagonally are Try, Bra

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A guy walked up to me and said "I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam, I'm a teepee, I'm a wigwam." I promptly informed the authorities. He was transported to a mental institution and I later learned that he swallowed his own tongue and died. Nobody attended his funeral.

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What do skeet disks and Jewish babies have in common? Hitler used to shoot them out of the sky.

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what's white and 10 inches? nothing....

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I admit I don't know what the future holds, but one thing I know for sure is that... Lance Armstrong has only one ball.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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An oriental man starts a new job. He is told to go to the Supply cupboard and bring back some stationery.He is gone far too long so his boss sends another man to see what is going on. The oriental man had a fatal stroke in the supply cupboard and was unfortunately dead.

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what did the homeless man get for Christmas? nothing.

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Why did the boy sharpen his pencil it was dull

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Knock Knock, Get the f*ck off my porch

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Your momma;s so fat she stepped on the scale and said one at a time please!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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