why didn't santa deliver any presents this christmas? Because he isn't real

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Why is Taylor sad? Because she's the middle of a human centipede.

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What did the boy eat for dinner? Shit.

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A man walks into a bar. He then walks out of the bar a while after. He then goes home and goes to bed. And then he goes to sleep. And then in an odd time travel paradox,a T-Rex arrives from the past and kills him and his entire family.

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I can't make my mind about the debate on legalisation of marijuana. Some days I think it's a good thing. Somes days I think it's a bad thing. And some days, I don't think about it at all and I just think it's a very nice day.

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Why did the black man begin to cry when his friend aimed a gun at a watermelon? Because if he were to shoot it would be a waste of perfectly good food.

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A man buys some expensive lingerie for his wife on the occasion of their 10th wedding anniversary. After a lovely candlelight dinner at home, he tells her to close her eyes at which point he retrieves the gift box containing her anniversary present. Thoroughly exited, she rips open the box and takes out the beautiful garment, holding it up to the light in wide-eyed amazement. Her husband gives her a suggestive wink and says "would you like to join me in the bedroom to try it on?" To which she replies, "I AIN'T YER WHORE!"

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What is Ciaran Wilkie Gay

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What did the one stethoscope say to the other stethoscope? Nothing. Stethoscopes can't talk.

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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Why did the family have no Christmas tree this year? Because they are Jewish.

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How many people live in China? At least ten.

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Whats long hard and full of semen? A dick.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms.

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A duck walks in wal-mart and buys stuff. The cashier ask how hes going to pay and the duck said just put it on my bill.

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What's the difference between a Boy Scout and a Jew? One comes back from camp.

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no pen = no studying no studying = bad grades bad grades = no job no job = no money no money = no food no food = death DON'T LOSE YOUR PEN

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Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? One is a tasty Italian food the other is a respected member of society

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Curiosity killed the cat and was sentenced to prison for animal abuse.

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What do an eagle and a gopher have in common? They can both fly, except for the gopher

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Chuck noris is so awesome that he brings a knife to a gun-fight, and wins

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What's worse than AIDS? Not getting your sandwich.

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What did Batman tell Robin before he got into the Batmobile? "Hey Robin, get in the Batmobile."

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What happens when a fat guy falls ? Ohio has another earthquake.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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