Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

How do you give a women more freedom? Shoot her in the face with a shotgun.

What did the psycho killer order for dessert? Ice Cream.

how did the cat call 9-1-1? very carefully as cats do not have opposable thumbs, making the whole situation rare, and semi-improbable.

Why did the boy fall off his bike? Because he got hit by a fridge. Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she got hit by a fridge. Why couldn't the cat drink its milk? Because it had no face.

Why is John single? Because women are materialistic.

CAVE JOHNSON.

Once you buy it, you will get a 365 day warranty or a 1 year warranty, whichever comes first

What makes 10 year olds laugh? Se x Jokes.

what has 2 legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

whats the difference between a chicken and a rooster. a rooster has a dick

Why was the white man chosen for the job over the black guy? He had more work experience and was clearly the better suited applicant.

Why did the clown go to jail? For 23 charges of rape and murder.

What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A Pilot.

What's bad about being a ghost with no arms or legs? You're dead.

Yesterday I told a chemistry joke. There was no reaction.

A priest was driving a motorcycle and was doing these amazing crazy stunts. It turns out they were actually filming a movie.

Bradley is Sexi;P just kidding!!! fatty

Want to hear a funny joke Rojo Bunchie

How do you confuse a blond? Dress up as Lady Gaga and yell "Ni!" in her face.

Why are there no swimming pools in Mexico? The average yearly income is $3,523, and pool chemicals are very expensive.

What's brown and sticky? Shit.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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