Why did the girl go fishing? Because she was the bait

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What happened when the dog was was let out to chase the rabbit? It caught the rabbit and killed it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I Won a Math Debate................ say it fast unless your blind then dont say it wait you cant read it so uhhm Alaska

thumb_up thumb_down -4

My heart is in my hands. Or maybe it's yours. Either way it's mine now. You won't need it anymore.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do ninjas and gay people have in common... if you eat them they will no longer be alive

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are Red Violets are Blue Your Adopted Deal With It!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the lights turn off? Because I turned them off.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's three times as dangerous than a war? Three wars.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your mom is so fat she should probably go to her doctor and ask for a prescription of diabetic pills

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar, Esept it wasn't a bar and he was running.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What do you call it when you get shot in the face 20 times with a shotgun? A:Nothing, you're dead. Q:What do we call it when you get shot 20 times with a shotgun? A: A blessing.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your heart.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the Asian eat so much rice? Because he was hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

This is Nero, the guy striving a bit with the fact that he killed his mother in order to save his wife a month or so before Christmas: cathphra is Exceedingly well read, I say than you. I had a nightmare tonight, my parents where serving tomato soup, while my mother made great food (despite the fact they discovered that it was not angel dust she used, but large quantities of opiate that would have killed an elephant) But this time they served me dry tomato soup (that from packages) and a bowl of lukewarm soup. I asked: How am I supposed to mix this? They both gave me the look of "here comes a beating" I started calling my mother many things that horsehead network sensors, then my father grabbed my neck and tried to twist my head off (and in this dream, rather than in reality, he actually succeeded) but I somehow managed to remain alive. Then I yelled in english: THIS IS BECAUSE I KILLED YOU! I HAVE NO SOUL TO TAKE! Only then I realized it was a dream and woke up...You know, because my parents never spoke English so they would not have understood me... I have a broken vertebrae in my neck to prove that my father tried quite hard to break my neck in reality at least... Yeah, I am mostly over it, I killed my father when he tried to break my neck because I kept scatching my ortopedic arm while studying (real arm which my mother cut off and then proceeded to beat me up with funny story actually) Then killed my mother years later when she stabbed my girlfriend induced under what turned out to be a heavy dose of opiates, and paralgin forte (which main ingredent is... you guessed it MORE opiates).

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q:Whats funnier than 24? A: 25.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How did the old man feel when he couldn't have sex? Viagravated

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you get a chicken to cross the road? Get him in the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do potatoes wear to bed? Potatoes don't sleep and don't wear clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What salad was served in the salad bar on the Titanic? Probably a selection of green leaves, radishes, cucumber, sliced hard boiled egg and cherry tomatoes, topped with cress, mixed seeds and a delicate dressing.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the man talk to the potato? Because hes stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Thats what she said......about the project proposal, it was some really valuable input.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock whose there YOUR MOM

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than public speaking? Public masterbation. *Spelled it wrong purposly to bypass the filter*

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's worse than finding a dead fly in your soup? Finding your soup in a dead fly

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops