Knock Knock .... Knock Knock .... Pum Pum Pum .... LAPD! open the door!

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Your Mom!!!

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So this Horse walked into a bar... Just kidding, it was Sarah Jessica Parker.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? About 4:30, unless he's running late, stuck in traffic, had to get gas.

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how do you get a mexican to fall off of a cliff? you push them off

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Whats worse than losing The Game? The Holocaust

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A lion walks in to a bar, and murders everyone inside. This is why animals are not aloud in bars.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike.

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Ask me if I'm a grapefruit. Are you a grapefruit? No.

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There are two muffins in the oven. One says: "It's really getting hot in here!" The other one can't reply because it is already dead.

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why did the chickan cross the road? who let the chickan out?

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What does Helen Keller's parents do when she gets in trouble? They leave the plunger in the toilet!!!

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What would happen if an asian guy and a black guy had a baby? Nothing. It is impossible for a baby to be born since men produce sperm cells not egg cells and for a fetus to form, you need an egg and a sperm, so you would need a male and a female so since they are both men it is physically impossible for them to produce a child.

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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Two men are making sandwiches, one man is spreading peanut butter over the bread and the other man is spreading honey and Italian raspberry jam over rye bread. the man with the peanut butter sandwich looks over and says "HEY, where did you get the rye bread?" and the man with the rye bread says "well my wife made it yesterday and I would be delighted if you come over for some tea, and tried some of my wife's homemade rye bread".

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A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

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knock knock who's there? be. be who? *hits you with a batterang. BECAUSE ITS BATMAN

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A man walks into a bar. He says, "Ouch!" Later that day, the man's daughter takes him to the doctor because he's acting strangely. The doctor gives him an MRI and the daughter is told that her father sustained severe brain damage from the injury. Now the daughter has to juggle taking care of her father, taking care of a child she bore from a drunken one-night stand, and recovering from her meth addiction at a rehab facility, all while making minimum wage at her dead end job. Eventually she hangs herself, leaving her father and child to slowly die on their own.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The doorbell wasn't working.

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Q: What's the difference between a plum and a rabbit? A: They're both purple, except for the rabbit

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what did the scene kid get for christmas? a gift card which he used ironically.

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osama is obame quincadence or aluminatti????

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I told my wife she was like a fine wine She asked if it was because she improves with age. I told her yes All was well.

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why did the gay person cry? he was said that he couldn't marry his boyfriend.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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