What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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How long does it take a Jewish man to pleasure his wife? There are many factors that go in to pleasuring a woman, none of which are readily measureable

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"knock knock" "whos there" "poop" "poop who" "poop in the toilet"

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Why was the hiker upset? He was plummeting 1,500 feet to the ground after tripping on a rock too close to a cliff.

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Yo mama so fat, she gonna die soon.

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your mom is so fat, shes not skinny

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good looking women

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What's more sad then a dumpster full of dead babies? The live one at the bottom.

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Is that a banana in your pocket? As a matter of fact, yes it is.

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goats are like mushrooms, if you shoot a duck, im scared of toasters

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A horse walks into a bar. Being unable to comprehend human emotion, he shits all over the floor.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Your one and only! Step away from the door, Francheska. You're violating the restraining order.

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"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Chuck Norris." "Chuck Norris who?" "NOBODY SAYS 'CHUCK NORRIS WHO'!!!"

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Why did the meme cross the road? MEME XD

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What do you call a kid with one leg and an eye patch? Names

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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April showers bring May flowers! And what do May flowers bring? Bees. Lots and lots of bees.

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If it wasn't for my horse I'd never go to college.

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The patient says, "Give me the bad news first!" Doctor replies, "You've got AIDS." "Oh, no! What could be worse than that?" asks the patient. "You've also got Alzheimer's Disease." Looking relieved the patient says, 'at least it shall be over quickly.'

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A man with tourettes walks into a bar, due to his disease he shouts unexpected profanities across the room; everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the pressure anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom and pulls out a gun and points it at his head. HIs wife of 15 years walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to conceive. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man diagnosed with touretts then goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. After he killed everybody he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentanced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man with touretts still cannot control his ticks and rots in jail everyday screaming obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Why was the black guy charged for murder? He killed his wife.

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Bill: My vagina is itchy. Tom: You don't have a vagina. It was later found out that bill had a sex change and did have an itchy vagina, due to an STI. He later died of cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he had legs.

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what happens when a girl poops? she wipes her butt.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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