What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I am colourblind so screw you!

Knock knock Who's there? Yolanda I do not know anyone by that name. I am sorry Oh I must be at the wrong house. My apologies. Oh, it's alright. Have a nice day You too. Take care!

What happened after a Mexican drank 4 shots? He got drunk and died in a car accident.

A little boy asked his mom what fucking was, so she showed him.

why did the duck cross the road? More than likely there was something that appeals to the duck on the other side such as a pond or duck food. On the contrary there could also be something that did not appeal to the duck on the side from which he is departing from such as a lack of a pond or a lack of duck food.

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a shed? A: Considering babies are incapable of rational thought it is unlikely they would understand how to employ the correct method to paint.

A Pole walks into a bar and gets annexed by Germany.

whats funny with two wheels? A kid falling off his bike

How many chickens does it take to screw in a light bulb? Any number of chickens plus one person.

Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

What is worse than burning your toast? - Obama

I asked a Jewish girl for her number. she rolled up her sleeve.

What's black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender

A man is being followed by a large swarm of mosquitoes. He eradicates them by spraying himself with an insect repellent that has a high deet concentration.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

Why were there only 5,000 Mexicans at the Battle of Alamo? They only had 1250 trucks.

Por que não passa Globo Esporte na Etiópia? Porque a Rede Globo não tem afiliadas por lá.

Why isnt there a womens NASCAR? Because NASCAR does not yet have the funding to start a women's league.

What do you call a black man in space? an astronaut

A priest, a rabbi, and a Buddhist monk walk into a bar. They discuss their differences over a pint of beer and leave with a greater understanding of each other's faiths.

Why does steve wonder always smile? He doesn't know he's black

Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

why did the chicken cros the road? Becuase the all the cars were stopped at the near by red light.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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