Q: What did Steve say to his teacher on the first day of school? A: "My name is Steve."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should i know, i do not speak chicken.

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''thanks for giving me back the money i lent you david''-said nobody

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What is better than AIDS? Cancer.Cancer and more cancer

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had brain cancer.

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What's brown and sticky? Vomit.

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Some Minions have one eye, others have two. And nobody seems to care.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? An astronaut. He's all alone in the vacuum of space. No one hears him knocking.

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What's the difference between a black man and a park bench? A black man is a human, with feelings, living cells and a loving and devoted family, while a park bench is made from wood and metal and used purely for people to sit on. In parks.

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What do you call 6 white men on a bench? The NBA

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do you have a pen i can borrow? yeah, here.

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Pete and Repeat were on a boat. Pete fell off. Who was left? Repeat. Yeah.

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Whats worse than getting broken into by a robber? Looking at Obama

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what taste like an apple, looks like an apple, but isnt an apple? an apple.

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Your social life.

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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what's worse than fining out that the best and worst jokes on anti-joke.com are about the Holocaust The Holocaust

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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The President, The Pope, and a small child are all in an airplane when the pilot announces that the plane is going to crash. They crash into the ocean and quickly remember that there is a life vest under their seats, which they promptly put on and safely inflate after exiting the cabin of the aircraft by pulling down on one or both of the red tabs.

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What color was the fence before it was painted green? Not green.

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What did Johnny do this wednesday? He went to school to be academically taught to get a high GPA of all the other children so he could go and pursuit his dream so he won't be left at home with a drunk wife and 6 kids with $190,000 in debt from the IRS

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two cannables walk in to McDonalds

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What to you call a heavy person, Someone overweight

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Every 5 seconds a child dies in Somalia. Good news is there are 4 second intervals when a child isn't dying in Somalia. I say kill them all

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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