Who do u talk to when everyone is ignoring you? Nobody will talk to you so what's the point?

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Why did the guy with alzheimer's say to his wife? He can't remember.

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Why did the Mr. bunny play the piano? - His wife Lannette was ill, and her last wish before she died was for him to.

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whats worse than gill? nothing

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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what do you do when life gives you lemons? take them, free shit is cool!

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Why did the little girl fall off of the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not her.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Shut up.

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what does a chair look like? a chair.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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3 men check in to a motel. They all decide to leave given the eminent danger of being the butt of a homosexual joke.

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How can a chicken be dirty? It can be covered in dirt!

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Is worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Getting AIDS.

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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Why did the student go to university? To pursue a higher education.

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Why did the black man have sex with the white woman? Because they were married.

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A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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What do you do if there's a rabid elephant chasing behind you, a vicious jaguar to your right, a rearing horse to your left, and a bloodthirsty lion in front of you? Innoculate yourself with a rabies vaccine, prod the jaguar on the nose with a stick (they hate that and will probably flee as a result), speak softly and calmly to the horse and encourage the lion to go for the elephant instead of you. You will probably still die as a combined result of mauling and trampling, and it's unlikely that you'll have two rabies vaccines to hand by chance for such situations, but your chances of survival will be minimally improved.

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Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street he gets hit by an airplane

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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How do u get suzzy off a swing? You tell her to get off

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Q. Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A. being physically disabled due to a preventable accident, thus leaving you incapable of doing activities that are easily completed by an able-bodied person

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Nock nock Whos there? The mailman, I have a package for you. Thank you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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