Two hunters are out in the woods, one of them collapses on the ground and his eyes roll back in his head. His friend whips out his cell phone and calls 911. He gasps,"I think my friend is dead, what do i do?" The operator says,"calm down lets first make sure he's dead." There's a silence, then a shot. Sadly the man was not dead but extremely tired and could not carry on without rest.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Why did the penguin die? He was anti-social and would rather die than huddle. So he died. THE END

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a pornstar comes early to a party

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How fast do Jews cook? It depends how many you have in the oven at once.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you make a Cowboy cry? You kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What does a Chinese girl get for Christmas? New parents...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why was the teen boy shirtless? He was mauled by tigers.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q. What happened first The Tree or The Apple. A. Johny Appleseed.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What does Chuck Noris have under his beard? A chin

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock Knock. Whose there? The Police, you wife died in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

slaughter the mussies #EDL

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many black people does it take to complete the simplest task such as washing their own hair? A **** load! thats why slavery was so populer back in the day. (and gays were big then to because they had to shower together to remember to wash their hair).

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Banana. Banana who? Knock! Knock! Who's there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad this joke is over?

thumb_up thumb_down -8

whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -8

a horse walks into a bar. what does the bartender say? why is there a horse in my bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What made the old man laugh? A pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Your momma's so fat that when she looked in the mirror she broke down crying and threw up in the toilet because she is belemic.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you stop a charging rhinocerous? Nuke africa.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why is six afraid of seven? Six isn't actually afraid of seven. It is true that seven devoured nine's carcass, but one has to understand that cannibalism is not a taboo in their culture. It is ignorant and offensive to judge the world of cardinal numbers, where protein is precious and leaving corpses to rot is dangerously unsanitary, by the standards of human societies.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Nock nock Whos there? The mailman, I have a package for you. Thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

columbus laid an egg. he was very proud of it, but the other dudes ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops