Q: whats big gray and cant swim A: a castle

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On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

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Q-what did the black man say before he crossed the road? A-i wanna cross the road.

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Q. Why did the Unicorn die A. It got hit by a Bus

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Why did the circus clown lose his balance? He had a seizure while on his unicycle, fell off, and bumped his head, leading to significant blunt trauma in the brain. Weeks later, after waking up from a coma, the doctors discover that he can no longer speak anything other than gibberish. His friends and family decide that he cannot go on living this way and decide to pull the plug.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Gestapos.

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police your son died in a car crash.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? rockband

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Dr Dr I think I have diarrhea You have irritable bowel syndrome, I recommend IBS support

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What did the fly say when he went to Dunkin Donuts? Can I have a doughnut?

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What's do you call a prostitute in a hospital? A concerned parent.

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Have you seen Stevie wonders new house..... It's ok he hasn't either.

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why did the chicken cross the road? becasue he wanted to. also he didnt want to be involved in the holocost

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Q: How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One

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What did the friend say to the other friend? A. Hi friend.

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Apple juice.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man?

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why did the chicken go to the man? TO ask if he wants sex for money

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If a tree falls in the forest, and only a deal man is there at the time, does it make a sound? And what are his odds of not being trapped under it, awaiting rescue?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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a horse is running across a cliff at 54 miles per hour, against the wind. he has been running for three hours. he needs to run for 347 more kilometers before he is tired. the wind is blowing at a speed of 10 miles per hour... he wonders if he will make it when suddenly he falls off the cliff. why did he fall of the cliff? it was a retarded horse.

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What's brown and sticky? A Stick

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What did George Washingtn say to is men before crossing the Delaware? Men, get in the boat.

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A nhiger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nhigers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nhiger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nhiger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nhiger go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nhiger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nhiger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nhiger ,smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops