Why can you punish cows but not fish? Because you can ground beef, but not fish!

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a white man, a black man, a chinese man and a mexican man stand at the edge of a roof. the chinese man stands at the edge and says "this is for ma people" and jumps off. then the mexican stands at the edge of the roof and says "this is for my people" and jumps off. finally, the black man stands at the edge of the roof and shouts "this is for my people!" and throws the white man off. The End XD

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Presents.

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roses arent always red, they can be pink or white. violets are violet, not blue. your pretty lets have sex.

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were belongs

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a jam sandwich

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How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because this chicken had a mental disability and saw on the news that there was a hospital on the other side of the road that could treat his illness and possibly save his life, allowing him to fulfill his life-long dream of retirement. But knowing that chickens do not possess the brain power capable of understanding the situation that this chicken was in, it had probably gotten lost and just wandered off.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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A man walks into work and massacres 20 due to a mental illness.

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What has four legs and starts with the letter D? A cow.

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Chuck Norris is so tough, he trained diligently for many years and is now a widely respected martial artist

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Q. how to kill the germ on a food. A. wash it with bleach.

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why do people play xbox 360's? because there poor people who cant afford a ps3

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What did the kid with cancer get for christmas? Hope.

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What do you call a black person doing labor for other people? A good friend.

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How did Helen Keller's parents punish her? They took away her Gameboy.

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Scenario: A man is being mugged in an alley Mugger: Give me your wallet! I have a gun! Victim: You don't have the balls. Mugger: Oh yeah! I have 3 balls! Victim: Well I have 2, you should probably get that checked.

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1: Knock Knock. 2: Who's there? 1: To. 2: To Who? 1: To whom.

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See you later... Just joke I'm blind

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What is brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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An English man, a German man and a Canadian man stood on the edge of a cliff. The English and German both jump off. What happens then? The Canadian says "they were serious?!" and runs away to fake his death and live the rest of his life as Frank Brown.

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what do you tell a woman with one black eye? "sorry about that wild ball, you played a fantastic softball game otherwise"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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