Waht do chinease people and gambling machines have in common? They both say chink chink chink chink chink chinck

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yo mommas so poor she doesn't live in a house

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Why did my mom smell bad. Because she is a corpse and has been dead for some days now

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How do you make a professional gamer cry? You burn his house down.

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What do u call a man with no arms and no legs and is laying in front of a door? Matt

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Rabid squirrels attacked Blake's face as winged pickles perched on Phoebe's hair.

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Hello.

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A man on an airplane is extremely frustrated by a small, screaming child. He puts on his headphones and listens to music.

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What do you call when you see a man murder 8 black guys? The police.

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Roses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, I Love Chocolate, More Than I Love You

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Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

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The anti joke that repeats itself :(

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When life gives you lemons, you are most likely in the fruit section of the grocery store.

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(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Carl -Carl wh-wait... carl...CARL OH MY GOD!!!! WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD ,CARL!!!! Where have you been? Oh my god... Mom's DEAD! When we all thought you were dead she hung herself! IT'S YOUR FAULT SHE'S DEAD, CARL! YOUR FAULT!!!!!! YOU ARE AN UNGRATEFUL PIECE OF SHIT CARL! YOU KNOW THAT? I hope you burn in hell.

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Why did chuck Norris take his friends to the buffet? Because buffets are great social conventions due to the allowance of sharing social favors while grabbing a succulent meal. Visit golden corral today.

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Mormons having fun.

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What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

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What is difference about : Pizza and Jews on the Holocaust? Pizza don't scream when she gets into the oven!

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Your mom is so fat...

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

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What did the man with the gun say to the man without the gun? I have a gun

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Q: What did the man ask the waiter when he was seated at Cracker Barrel? A: May I please have more golf tees?

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whats worse than biting your apple and finding a worm? WWII.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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