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Why did the boat salesman cry? Because a puppet killed his family.

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Doctor, my husband tells me he doesn't like my figure .... That's irrelevant now, you've contracted a rare blood disease and will be dead within a month.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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Do you know what kind of world I dream of? Until you tell me, no I don't. How could I? I'm not telepathic, after all.

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? A komodo dragon

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What's white and sticky? A white stick.

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? Throw a jar of foreskin at it.

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Why did the girl scream? Someone shot her mom

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An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

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Why does the cow have spots? Because it was born that way

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why did the lady fall out the window? someone threw axe at her

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Q:what do you call a black man with blonde hair flying a plane? A: A pilot

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EVAN RAMSEY -CAD CLASS!

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This is an anti-anti joke. I don't expect him to get it.

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Mitt Romney

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A man meets the girl of his dreams. Too bad the man will die in 3 days due to terminal cancer

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Why does the Green Giant's vegetables taste funny? He stands over his peas and corn.

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An American almost walks into a store when he sees a Jew. The Jew was also about to walk into the store, So the american opens the door for him and says"Jew first."

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Superman wears chuck Norris pajamas Just kidding superman is a fictional character and is uncapable Of owning pajamas

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A man violently raped a small child. Unfortunately the child had aids and gave them to the man.

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How do you get babys to paint a house? depends on how hard you throw them

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Whats worse than losing The Game? The Holocaust

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An Italian, a Mexican, and an American are sharing a meal on the Titanic. They all died for the women and children first.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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